HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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