Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
