quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize