I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
ok first of all what the fuck
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
