sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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