What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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