Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
