im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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