Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
A bitchslap is in order.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
