the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
