so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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