He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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