Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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