Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
