I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
