I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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