all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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