Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
