So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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