u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
