I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize