Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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