just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
