Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
