I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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