i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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