guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
