So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
