The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
