Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
