butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
...so i touched it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
