I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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