I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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