i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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