You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
