i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You are the jesus of drinking
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