So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
two words...techno handjob
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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