i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
