we're blogging at a bar
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
