that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and she was petting her beer can
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We left the knife in your bed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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