Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Boobs are out for the taking
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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