how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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