moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
