I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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