i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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