i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
