no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
