I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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