Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
