all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
