More tranny stories later!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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