My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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