Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
