Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
