ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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