I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
